“And the Light shines in the darkness.”- John 1:5
It is 5 in the morning, and we have been up for hours. Both girls are sick and our house has gone into full infirmary mode. Currently, I’m watching Hugh love on and soothe and sit up Bailey Grace so that I can have some time in the Word and share some thoughts with each of you. I love that man so very much.
From February til now, we have been walking through a new season with the girls’ seizures. I knew that at some point, the Lord would stir my heart to share with you what exactly has been going on- and it seems as if now is that time. About a month ago, as many of you know, we went in for an EEG to determine how to help Bailey Grace’s new seizure activity. Less than 24 hours after being there, we were sent home. After having her hooked up to the machine that measures her brain activity for less than a day, we received the news that no parent of a child with epilepsy wants to hear: Bailey Grace is now considered status, which means she is basically constantly seizing. This new label is considered subclinical, which means a lot of the activity is not visible but rather background noise. This is a significant increase from her previous EEG’s, for reasons that no one knows.
But God. Always but God.
In light of this, we have started Bailey Grace on another seizure medication. Although the background noise is not treatable, the clinical stuff is, and the hope is that we will be able to calm her brain down if even a bit in order to improve her quality of life as much as we are humanly able.
“As for God, His way is perfect.”- Psalm 18:30
Ally’s clinical seizure activity has been practically non-existent for about a year. A little over a week ago, this changed. We have now set up an EEG for her as well, and our neurology team anticipates that we will see similar results for our other precious girl. When the girls both got sick a couple days ago, their seizure activity picked up like never before. Yesterday, I watched both my daughters have more seizures than I could count. With as much as I was visibly seeing, there was no telling what was going on in the background.
“Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your minds.”- Romans 12:2a
What is the background noise of your life?
I am not talking about the things that you cannot control- daily distractions, illness, other people’s behavior. I’m talking about the thoughts and attitudes you allow to creep into your mind, sinking into your heart. If you took a current tally on how often you ask the Spirit to control your thought life versus how often you simply let your flesh and mind wander to carnal things, where would you be? What would that look like?
Friends, I don’t know about you but so often, I get so bogged down with what’s in front of me that I forget to pause and be intentional in what I allow in and out of my mind and heart. God’s Word is clear that there is an Enemy of our souls and that our flesh is weak. If we don’t hide His Word in our hearts and make a conscious effort to seek His leading in our thoughts, the likelihood that we will fall into crowding our beings with things of this world is not just high- it’s inevitable.
The truth is, I can’t control the background noise that exists in my daughters’ brains-I can’t control what a seemingly simple illness does to their bodies- but I can control what I allow to be the background noise of my life. Today, would we choose praise as our default. Might we be a people who refuse to have an open door policy to worry, anxiety, fear, negativity, and cynicism. I cannot control circumstances- yet I know the One who is above all things and this changes everything. All glory and honor to the One who has the power to transform our minds and hearts- so much so that rejoicing in Who He is becomes the forefront of who we are. He is worthy.
In all things.
At all times.
No matter what.
Seeds and Leaven 
Thank you for sharing and reminding me that in the midst of the background noise and frenetic “seizing” of our lives, His way is perfect. Praying for continued strength, comfort and healing in yours.
Morgan, your blog was forwarded to me by a member of my Bible study group. I was attempting to read it to my husband and was so moved that I could not continue reading through my tears. My husband and I came so close to being in similar shoes with our child, Matthew West, that the still raw emotions overwhelm me with compassion for you and Hugh. I have only a very small glimpse of where you are, but enough to know that your having the presence of mind and spirit to minister as you are to so many others is through God’s Holy Grace alone and is nothing short of a miracle! I will be praying for blessings, strength, peace and protection from the enemy for you and Hugh, and for complete healing for the girls.
Matthew was in intensive care for almost two months as a newborn and when the doctors had done all they could do to no avail, Joe and I witnessed a miracle of healing in Matthew. Though his doctors were amazed and even dumbfounded, they told us and the insurance company that he was brain damaged and may never walk, talk or feed himself. When you ride that roller coaster, you come face to face with a big question: if God, in His sovereignty, does allow us to walk down that life altering path, would we remain faithful? Thankfully God gave our hearts abounding grace so that we knew He would see us through whatever came and would walk before us, enabling us to be faithful. But it was a difficult time, and the most important thing anyone could do for us was pray. That experience taught me what fervent prayer was, and is a time when we were cliser than ever to the Almighty. We cherish that time now. So I will pray for you and your family, that God will uphold you every day so that you can continue this wonderful witness. It is amazing. Praise God for turning something so bitter into something so sweet.
Love in the One Who Lifts Us,
Georgia West