A Letter To Satan Concerning My Daughter’s Seizures.

To the Enemy of our Souls:

I heard your familiar voice whisper in the back of my mind and heart yesterday.

We were on the way to the Emergency Room for the second time in the past month with my precious, almost 4 year old daughter. She had already had six seizures that morning. It was 8 AM.

“Did God really say He was for you? For Bailey Grace? For your family?”

I spent a few moments contemplating this thought. Between some adoption plans that didn’t go through, questioning what God really is doing with the process of adding to our family, evolving lung developments with one of the twins, and now, a month of more seizures for the other than I know how to count- things weren’t looking so hot. Here I was, in the midst of taking our girls to school, taking a detour to a hospital where there will be more questions than answers.

I kept driving.

Whispers again.

“You know, it kind of seems like the opposite if you think about it. Haven’t you guys been through enough?”

Within a few seconds, I caught you- yes, you, Satan- in your tracks.

You see, you may be crafty but you aren’t exactly creative.

We’ve been through this before. We’ve been through the whole, “Is God actually good? Is He actually for you?” thing- more times than I can count. In fact, I can remember being 18 years old, naked- both figuratively and literally- taken advantaged of in the most vulnerable way possible- trying to pick up the pieces of what I thought my identity was based on and hearing those same thoughts running through my head.

“Can God actually be good in this?”

Let’s get something straight, Satan.

God was good when I was eighteen, hurting physically and emotionally.

He used that night to bring me to a level of intimacy with Him like I had never experienced before- my worth based no longer on my record or my slate but His.

God was good when He knit my daughters together in my womb- forming a mutation early on that would affect the rest of their and our lives in ways we could have never fathomed.

God has always, is always, will always, be good.

In fact, it says it right here in His Word- As for God, His way is perfect (Psalm 18:30).

What’s the deal, Enemy? Shrinking back at the Word of God, I see?

Let’s go over something else.

I may be weak- but my God is strongest in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)

In this world- God promised us- we will have trouble- but He has overcome the world (John 16:33).

There are a lot of dark, hard, broken things that are going on around us- but the Light has already overcome the darkness (John 1:5).

You, Enemy, came to steal, kill, and destroy- but He came that we would have LIFE to the FULL (John 10:10).

Satan, what you intend for evil, God always intends for good. And, just like with Job (remember that whole scenario?) He is in complete control of what He allows or doesn’t allow you to do on this side of heaven. He’s got the complete authority over you (oh, how you know this).

And guess what?

Our family isn’t buying it. We aren’t buying this lie and we aren’t going to buy the next.

His plans are still to prosper and you can be sure of this- He’s going to the glory. Every day that passes is one day closer to when my daughters will experience complete freedom from pain and suffering- no more seizures, no more illness, no more pain.

This is what we live for:

Our God is faithful.

He has always been and He will always be.

You are not in control- oh, how you would love for us to believe that you are. Yet- this is God’s plans- perfect, mind you- unfolding before our very eyes- even when it doesn’t appear that way.

Satan, you already lost this game and these seizures are just another battle in the middle.

Try all you might, we’re believing God.

Good luck with attempting to thwart the plans of the God over all the universe.

Very Sincerely,

A Mom Whose Had Enough of Your Lies