To those who do not follow Christ:
I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
As Christians, the moment we truly started following Christ was life-changing. Suddenly, the same book that some of us had heard from the pews of our churches came ALIVE in our minds and hearts, and every word from its pages felt like nourishment to our weary souls. You know the moment where you are really thirsty, and you finally get a cold glass of water, and you simply chug it til you cannot drink anymore?
This is kind of how reading God’s word feels to a Christian, only infinitely more satisfying.
When those who follow Christ gather together and begin to authentically learn to love God and love people more, we are not sitting around talking about you and what a heathen you are.
Actually, quite the opposite.
Most of the time, we fuel passion in one another over God’s Word and remind each other of the truths that we are being taught and encourage each other to not believe the lies that infiltrate the world around us, knowing that we have been there done that and it only leaves us wanting. We authentically open up about what a mess we are and praise God side by side in light of His immeasurable grace to us. If you are ever mentioned, non-believer, we mention you in love. What I mean by that is this: God instills a thought into our heads that reaches our hearts and suddenly, we begin to see you how He does: fully loved and equally undeserving of the grace He offers yet tragically unaware of your need for Him to uproot your futile attempts to find life and instead, find life in Him. We pray for ways to share this truth with you because we never want you to feel like some kind of project, and in the midst of that, we forget that only by His Spirit will you be drawn to these truths anyway.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the ways in which we have tried to do this Christian thing on our own.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the times where we allow secondary matters to become primary; and alongside that, I’m equally as sorry for the times where we pretend tolerating sin is loving someone and we don’t state truth for the sole purpose of people-pleasing. We skirt around what God’s Word makes completely clear out of fear of seeming judgmental, or narrow-minded, or simply because we don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable ie ourselves.
You see, when Jesus was on earth, He hung out with prostitutes, drunkards, and the like, but he was never there to tell them their sin was excusable. He was there to tell them that He was about to walk the bloody road of the cross to demolish their sins, but not for the sake of letting them bask in it.
He wanted to free us from the things that were keeping us from Him.
His entire ministry on earth was centered around showing His authority, looking at the hearts of those he came in contact with, and growing and seeking out those who had faith to believe.
Along with that, you never saw Him arguing with those who couldn’t see truth for what it was.
He would answer questions when asked, never becoming defensive in conversation, for He knew that the victory had already been won.
Non-Christian- I’m sorry for the times that we, as Christ-followers, have forgotten yet again that Christ already won the victory and that we are not responsible for changing hearts to grasp that; only God is able. I’m sorry for the times we have made a public defense instead of a private plea to the God who knows and sees all.
And on matters of the heart, the thing is this:
God’s Word says that if a man looks lustfully at a woman, he has already committed adultery in his heart.
A thought of hate equals a murderer within the mind.
While following through with these in action might bring more complication and public ridicule, I am here to tell you that if left to my own flesh, I am the whore.
I am the drunkard.
I am the murderer.
I am the thief.
What the world calls a hypocrite is actually one of the crucial messages of the Gospel. When left to ourselves, we are all incapable of serving God. It is only through faith in what He has done for us and trusting in Him that we are able to be saved.
We don’t tell you this often, non-believer.
I am sorry.
We are so concerned with showing you Christ that we forget for you to see Him, you have to see the mess we are without Him.
We come to our private circles and we open up and we show one another our scars; yet we think hiding them from you makes His light more bright.
It doesn’t.
The truth is, in and within ourselves, we are just as messed up as you are.
And that you are.
You are messed up. When left to your own defenses, you will always choose that which leads to destruction.
So will I.
Yet God.
When you take one step of faith, He will take 99 and suddenly, you begin to see things as they truly are. Your desires begin to change, and You start to want the treasures of God and not the trinkets of this world. This comes by faith and faith alone.
What we have failed to tell you is that while our salvation may happen in a second, our sanctification- this process of becoming more like Him- takes time. So much time in fact, that we will never fully be like Him until we meet Him face to face.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that in the midst of us continuing to work out our own junk we have failed to explain to you that this Gospel is not about your sin, or my sin, or sin in general- this Gospel is about Jesus and the power He has to change each of us, no matter who we are or what we have done.
I’m sorry we have forgotten that it takes faith to have eyes to see and that if you are not reading His Word in faith, it’s going to be like dead words on a textbook.
I’m NOT sorry for standing up for the truth of His Word.
I’m NOT sorry for telling you what that Word says.
If we love someone, speaking truth to them is essential.
Yet, I’m sorry for the times my brothers and sisters have chosen a manner of defense on topics that were never meant to be a debate in the first place.
God is God and I am not.
If you want to argue about what He says brings life and what He says brings death, argue it with Him.
I didn’t write God’s Word; I just know it to be true.
Non-Christian: God is much more invested in your salvation than I ever could be; so much so that He died for it. I will never be a perfect representation of the love He has for you. I am going to fail daily, yet the goal was never for you to see a perfect person. The purpose has always been to point you to a Perfect God.
I’m sorry for the times I have pretended I am any less human than the next.
I’m sorry for the moments in which I don’t speak hard truths to you simply to save face.
I love you much, much more than that; and so does your God.
Non-believer: let’s be friends.
Let’s be friends without an elephant in the room.
Let’s be friends with you knowing that I desperately want to spend every waking moment talking to you about this God who has rocked my world and changed my life.
Let’s be friends knowing that when I do bring Him up, it’s an overflow of my heart and not an attack on your lifestyle.
Let’s be friends knowing that I really am praying that you will see the mess of me combined with the grace of Jesus and that the Jesus in me will be so attractive to you that you will be the one asking questions instead of me trying to spoon feed information.
To those who don’t follow Christ: I am sorry on behalf of myself and my brothers and sisters for doing a poor job of explaining what God says love is and what our faith is truly about.
Sincerely,
A broken woman who has been made whole ONLY by the blood of Jesus
Seeds and Leaven 
❤️❤️❤️❤️