Yesterday, I had the privilege of sharing with a group of women in Augusta, Georgia. In the days before, as I was praying through what God wanted to say, I was reminded of His gentle leading in our family’s story. I reflected back on the beginning of this journey, almost a year and a half ago, and fell to my knees in gratitude that He, in His wisdom, has unraveled the details of our story in such a tender way. He knew. He knew that this overwhelmed, anxious heart needed time to process the different pieces of His story in our lives. He knew that I could not handle the weight of this story all at once; and so He has continued to reveal, piece by piece, the various plans and details. He still knows. Even in the midst of my tantrums for more knowledge, more answers, He patiently withholds; for His glory and for our good.
If you were able to know all the details of your time on earth, right here, right now, would you want to?
The financial woes.
A few years back, my answer would have been a resounding, ‘yes’. But, now? Now, I am eternally thankful that He leaves most of it a holy mystery.
“For everything there is a season…”-Ecclesiastes 3:1
Oftentimes, we use this verse at funerals, or in times of sorrow. It is reminder that all things are in God’s hands and under His timetable. However, if we take it a step further, we can see God’s good graces in this in an even deeper way. What if all the seasons were mixed together?
I love winter, summer, spring, fall; all for different reasons. Once the end of one season hits, I am ready and excited for the next. Why? Because, while in ways, I’m uncomfortable with change; there is also something refreshing about starting anew and changing things up. I don’t want snow, rain, hot, cold, autumn leaves and humid, stormy nights, all at once. It would be too much for this finite, human mind to process. So God, in His wisdom, He reveals His creation to us in different times and different ways, all forming a tapestry of His love. So goes our lives. He ordains it that we walk through different circumstances, different joys and trials, within the timing that He sees fit. The thing is this: He knows. He has walked through it all, and His purposes and plans would not be formed in perfection without each and every tiny detail of the whole thing. Yet, in His sheer wisdom and momentous patience, He has plastered it all together in a way in which we could grow and learn to be more like Him in constant, precise layers. And, hear me on this: without each and every layer of your story, however seemingly painful or hard, the story would not be the same; His layered goodness enveloping each and every moment.
“…even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.”- Psalm 139:12
He shines brighter. He shines brighter than the darkest night. We see the darkness; He sees the Light, blazing brighter than the sun He created. We see the sin, bloodiest of reds, and He sees the robe, whiter than snow. We see the hurt, piercing thick to the soul; He sees the victory, marching quickly to eternity. We see the fleeting emotion; He sees the bigger picture, forming one, glorious canvas of perfect Love. We see the cross; He sees His Son, sitting at the right hand of the Father on His throne. Layers of beauty, glory, and purposed plans from the One who sees all, knows all, and is above all.
I am growing to love the layers of this story. I am being taught to rest in today, letting go of both yesterday and tomorrow, fully convinced that He is working in all things. It is one thing to unclench those hands; it is another thing altogether to raise those hands in praise. A miracle, in fact. His Spirit, doing the impossible, one season at a time.
Friends, the layers of each of our lives are rich and full. But, let us not forget that while we may only see pieces of the puzzle; it is no puzzle to Him. He has not only seen it all; He ordained it all. Oftentimes, we find ourselves overwhelmed in the midst of the complexities of the seasons of life. Could we praise Him in light of that? Could we begin to be thankful that He has walked through it all; yet helps us to climb this life one step at a time, moment by moment, day by day, week by week? Instead of wishing that we “just knew”; or that He would reveal more, or that the plan was laid out, could we breathe a sigh of relief that we are simply called to seek Him right now, in this very moment?
My flesh wants what it wants what it wants; but my soul wants Jesus more. My prayer for us this week is that we would find joy in the fact that He has purposed us to not know all things. That we would humble ourselves to live in this moment, fully convinced that He is above each and every season; and that each and every layer is clothed in His limitless, perfect Love. May we seek Him in all things and praise Him evermore.